a path of healing

a path of healing

I talk a lot about my experiences as a teenager on this blog. I mean, my subtitle is “Free Thoughts on the Teen Mind.”

I’ve always thought that it was important to talk about the not-so-glamorous parts of being a teenager (if there are even any glamorous parts). I’m lucky that I grew up in a very nice community, where I didn’t have to worry about money too often and that I got many opportunities I know others don’t get. Despite all of this, there were many times in my life where I wasn’t able to be in the right mindset I should have been, whether it was just normal teen angst or something that actually justified me crawling into a dark hole and residing there for however long it took me to get out of said slump. What is even more important is showing that you can have a normal home life, be surrounded by love, and live what seems to be a good life on the surface, and still go through things such as depression, or in a more slang term, slumps. 

I know that my life hasn’t been the hardest, but when I’m told that on top of the way that I already may be feeling, it doesn’t help motivate me at all. In fact, it makes me feel worse because I’m aware of the life I’ve been given, and how so many others have it worse than I do. I think this is something many people struggle with and is a topic that is very controversial in regards to whether someone can be considered depressed when they live a prosperous life. I believe they can, and it is showcased when a famous actor or celebrity may openly discuss their depression, or sadly commit suicide. One of the things I believe would help reduce this fear of expressing one’s sadness is having more people who are seen as doing well in life that may be depressed is being able to talk about it, and making others feel that they are justified in feeling that way, no matter what circumstances they are surrounded by. 

In doing so, I wanted to showcase and write my path towards happiness. I’m generally seen as a very happy person, but in the past half year or so, I’ve gone in and out of really bad slumps in my life. But with the help of some wonderful friends, I’ve started making changes in order to be a happier and more fulfilled person, instead of dwelling on my sadness. I wanted to keep a written record of my progress so that not only will I be able to physically see the progress I made, but also for other people to see that they really aren’t alone (no matter how corny that sounds) and that hopefully it’ll help at least one person understand that someone else feels the same way they do. 

I’ll end this here, but I’ll definitely be posting soon about the changes I’ve made to to be a happier person.

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My 2017.

My 2017.

2017 was a whirlwind.

I know this is a little late, seeing as we’re already two weeks into 2018, but hey, better late than never right? I wanted to do a post reflecting on things I’ve learned in 2017, and how it’s changed me, but no just for the better. Sure, I did some personal reflection and I have improved a lot of things, but 2017 brought out some parts of me that I’m not the proudest of.

Starting off with what is probably the thing that influenced me the most, was the 2016 election. The election results affected everyone, and as a political science major, it was interesting to see Trump’s first year in office play out in the news. It saddens me what he has done with the presidency, and in my opinion, I think he’s made a mockery of democracy. He bullies members of his administration for their loyalty and constantly fires back childish responses to other leaders of the world. I’m still learning about the difficult rules of politics myself, but the decisions President Trump has made this past year have me questioning what direction our country’s ideals are headed towards.

I’m not going to lie, having Donald Trump as our president also affected my personal relationships with friends. I no longer speak to a few close friends due to their choice to support President Trump. If you are someone who wants to show support for a President that has made our executive branch of government into a joke, that is completely your choice but is one I don’t have to tolerate. There were so many controversies over people losing relationships due to this and how some people thought it was childish to stop being friends with someone over their choice of candidate, but I think it is perfectly reasonable. If you support someone who is outright sexist and racist, then you are not someone I want to be associated with.

Excuse my politics tangent, I get a little carried away sometimes.

2017 has made me into someone much more independent. I used to be the type of person who would always want to go do things with people, and I would hate having to run errands alone or go to eat alone. Because so many of my friends were either at different colleges or still in high school, the availability for me to see my friends cut down. Although I wasn’t able to see my friends as much, I believe that this strengthened our friendships and made me cherish the times I had with them more. Each time my friends and I went out to dinner or just spent a few hours catching up over coffee, I left with my heart full of happiness. My friendships became stronger because I knew that my friends and I could survive distance and still maintain the same level of love for each other.

I also made new friendships! I started my first semester at community college, and while the classes were difficult, making new relationships seemed to be even harder. But I did manage to make a few new friends, and I’m so happy I did! These people helped me get through difficult times throughout the semester, aka midterms and finals, and the bond created through crying over math problems can never be broken.

One last thing I wanted to touch on about friendships is taking the initiative. I used to hate messaging my friends first to make plans because I thought I would be annoying them. Funny enough, it turned out to be the exact opposite! I’m a very Type A person, so I like to plan, well almost everything that goes on in my life and my friends understood that which is why they knew that I would plan dinners whenever my schedule worked out. They didn’t mean to seem like they weren’t interested in hanging out with me, but instead knew that I liked things to happen a certain way, and they were okay with that. Because of this, I’m no longer afraid of annoying my friends by messaging them first. Taking the initiative on things has been a huge part of 2017, and I hope that I continue to have a take-charge personality throughout 2018.

All in all, I had a pretty good 2017. I graduated from high school, began my first semester at college, and got a lot closer to my friends and family. My one wish for 2018 is to just become the woman I’ve always wanted to be. I’m 18 now! It’s time for me to start finding my place in the world and to pave a path as to where I see myself in five or ten years. In the wise words of Blair Waldorf, “Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.” Screw the idea that “everything happens for a reason.” We’re ignoring fate this year ladies, and making our own dreams come true.

Sunny San Diego

Sunny San Diego

Hello beautiful people!

Yesterday I spent the day in sunny San Diego with my cousins and managed to visit some of Instagram’s hottest picture places.

Holy Matcha (North Park)~


I loved the cute decorations of this place, and how it was basically drowning in millennial pink and matcha green, which happen to be two of my favorite colors. The vibrant plants spread all around the shop as well as their neon pink sign just screamed AESTHETIC to me, which resulted in me forcing my cousin to snap some cute pictures. Not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed in the matcha itself, the latte I bought just didn’t live up to my expectations…BUT I was really happy I finally got to visit this place after seeing it all over my instagram feed!

Boba Bar (Convoy)~


My cousins and I stopped by this little shop after stuffing ourselves full with korean bbq, and I was so excited to try their famous puffle cones! We ordered a strawberry cheesecake one, as well as a green tea oreo cheescake puffle, which were filled with vanilla soft serve, cheesecake bites, and strawberry or matcha, depending on what you ordered. It was so delicious and I’m sad that they don’t have a location near me.

Balboa Park~


Balboa park is one of San Diego’s coolest places to take pictures, or to just walk around with your family. They have tons of art galleries and museums, most of which are free! I’m pictured below outside of one of the many art galleries, and near their famous rose gardens! The flowers there are so beautiful and super cute for pictures. In my outfit below, I’m wearing a lavender silk lace tank top from Forever 21, my favorite boyfriend jeans from GAP, and my Mom’s old Calvin Klein heels. The only thing I regret was not bringing extra shoes…my feet were in pain by the time we left!


I had so much fun exploring San Diego with my cousins, and I hope to go down there again soon, because there is so much more waiting to be discovered! Leave me any comments about some cute food places or just places you love to go! (Photo credits to @hello.sandra on instagram)

 

June Plans

June Plans

June is finally here and I could not be more excited! (Side note, I started this at the beginning of June, I know June is almost over buut I procrastinated writing this so here I go!) I’m *gasp* a high school graduate now which feel kind of weird but it’s a nice feeling. I’ve decided to do a two year transfer from my local community college and I’ve started my first summer class I’m taking. The class itself isn’t too hard, coming from an AP english class, it’s the same amount of work. The only thing is that it’s suuper fast paced because it’s an accelerated and it’s a summer class. But it’s going well so far, so I have high hopes! (My best friend and I pictured below)


I’m going to Hawaii in a week and I’m so thrilled, I haven’t been there since I was in middle school and I’m excited to go back now that I’m older and can experience more things. My family and I have planned to go snorkeling, hiking, and parasailing so I cannot wait to get on our plane and fly over there.

This summer, I’ve made a resolution to start writing more consistently, (which hasn’t been going well so far…) as well as branching out from what I’m used to and trying new things. Whether that means branching out and trying more risky fashion trends I’ve been too afraid to try, or meeting new people and trying new activities. So far, my plan is to try fishnet tights. I know that they have been a style trend recently, but I never thought I would be able to pull them off. I recently bought a pair of yellow sunnies, which is branching out slightly for me, because I rarely feel like I can pull off glasses, much less bright yellow ones! But I adore them, and look forward to wearing them more often this summer! They’re shown below where I wore them yesterday at the OC night market~

 

Let me know in the comments below what you’re summer resolutions are; whether they be trends, or new places or things you want to try!

Till next time,

Ashley💓

Saying Goodbye 

Saying Goodbye 

Hi guys! So I’ve been kind of neglecting this blog for awhile and I’m sorry but things have just been so hectic with school and college admissions that I haven’t had the time or the motivation to write anything. But, with the school year almost over, I have a little more time on my hands and I wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind for awhile. 
Saying goodbye is never easy, but it’s inevitable in life. Whether it’s saying goodbye to your favorite shirt, to a classmate moving away, or to a loved one who has passed away. I’ve been thinking a lot about goodbye’s lately myself. Since I’m graduating high school this year, it seems surreal to me that I’ll be saying goodbye to more than half of my classmates this year. Granted, I’m not friends with all of them, but it’ll be weird going to school and not being surrounded by the faces I’ve come to be familiar with over the past twelve years. 

 
These past few weeks, I’ve been reminiscing over memories created with the people I’ve gone to school with my whole life, and wondering how different it’ll be next year, when more than half of my classmates will be spread not only up and down California, but across the country. It made me sit and think of all the times I’ve laughed and shared inside jokes with my classmates, and how I took those moments for granted.

 

But with goodbye’s also comes the prospect of future memories. My best friend and I are attending community college for our first two years of college, in order to save money and finish out our GE’s. I’ll be able to spend more time with my friends from other high school’s that I rarely get to see and I’ll have the chance to visit all the foodie spots in LA that I’ve been dying to try. I have plans to hopefully study abroad and maybe get an internship at a law firm or online newspaper? I don’t have a complete plan at this point, but I’m so excited for what the future has in store for me.